Cracked pots and treasure

Lectionary Art 056The problem with being a Vicar is: You’ll never do all that needs to be done.  You can never be all things to all people – and people can have such high expectations of what they “need” the Vicar to be for them.

If you throw in a natural insecurity and lack of confidence, it’s a recipe for madness.  And don’t get me started on the all-singing, all-dancing Super-Vicar who lives in my head, taunting me.

So I’ve spent a lot of the last year thinking about weakness.  Clinging on to the notion, that God puts his treasure in jars of clay.   Just maybe, God knows that I am not a super-vicar, he knows that I am weak and easily daunted, that I dither when faced with big decisions.

Does God choose to use me, despite all this?  I’d go one further – God chooses to use me, because of my weaknesses.  Where I am weak, he is strong.

When I am all-competent and wonderful – I can rely on my own amazing skills. When I am panicked and scared, I rely on God….and my prayers have so much more passion!

When I can do it all myself – everyone else only has to watch and applaud.  When I can’t do stuff, I lean on other people, we work as a body and maybe they will flourish because they are needed and valued.

The words?  Here they are:

“Ring the bells that still can ring
Forget your perfect offering
There is a crack in everything
That’s how the light gets in.”

A Leonard Cohen lyric that has haunted me ever since I first heard it.  Is it bad that I have never heard the actual song?

Walk gently then with your frailty
allow it to bless you.
It will not cripple you unless you run from it.
Embrace it instead.
Carry it as one carries
the cherished secret of a great wealth
hidden away in a holy, eternal space
like a treasure hidden in a field.
From Macrina Widerkehr – A Tree Full of Angels (and I’ve never read this book either – does that make me a bad person?)
This was a first experiment at using the sewing machine to  do shading, to make the pot look rounded and 3 dimensional.  I was happy with how that turned out.
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